Offseason Party

I heard the Jays are having an offseason party hosted by new GM Alex Anthopoulos, it's going to be a Taco Party, and you're invited.

Has Wilner Jumped the Shark?

I can't comprehend how Wilner thinks that this trade offer would be anywhere near as close as what Milwaukee would get if they put Prince Fielder on the market, but according to the normally realistic Wilner, the Jays should offer the Brew Crew this stinker of an offer:

Marc Rzepczynski OR David Purcey

Casey Janssen

Edwin Encarnacion

ONE OF Brad Mills, Daniel Farquhar, or Reider Gonzalez

for

Prince Fielder

JJ Hardy

Even if we are to assume that Hardy for Encarnacion is a wash (which is highly debatable, since Hardy probably has some value, while Encarnacion has absolutely no value, and they both have inflated salaries), the deal boils down to Rzep OR Purcey, plus Janssen, plus a slightly above average prospect for a 25 year old (looking to cash in) who has already hit 50 homers in a season, and currently has 43 homers this year and batting .300. Who cares if it's just a rental? If you're paying $2 for the rental, I'm sure some other team will offer $5.

Purcey is 27 and has done nothing in the majors or minors to suggest he will be anything more than a flamed out first round pick, and Rzep has all the scouts viewing him as a fourth starter.

Does Casey Janssen have that much trade value? Or did Wilner just have too much cough medicine the night he wrote this bizarre post??

Don't be made for a fool

So recently, the new mantra of the Jays organization seems to be "Come down to see the team play... in doing so, better things will be provided in the future." We're down to the stretch drive, the team is well below .500, the stadium pretty much sucks, and with a straight face they expect people to pay cash, use their time, and head off to see their shitty team wrap up another shitty season?

Bill Simmons recently provided two options that football fans have this year to experience the game, but I found it pretty appicable for Jays fans going down the stretch. Modifying Simmons two door analogy to Jays fans, it would go something like this:

Door No. 1 (more expensive): Lousy seats, lifeless state-of-the-art multi purpose stadium, dead crowds, drunk/bitter fans, hiked-up concession prices, no escape for other forms of entertainment

Door No. 2 (less expensive): Sofa, HD, MLB Package, fantasy scores online, remote control toggling, gambling, access to scores, beer and food in fridge, no traffic

Yes, I'm purposely leaving out the Play-by-play announcing of the game, but you always have the option of the mute button and throwing on some tunes, and having the game as more of a background as well.

In essense though, I know why guys like Cito Gaston, Vernon Wells, and Lyle Overbay go to every Jays home game. They get paid to. What's the excuse for fans to head there? Do the Jays actually believe that Jay fans have no other options?

Baseball Twats

Someone directed me towards Barry Davis of Sportsnet's twitter account, which is full of either Captain Obvious tweets or Canada Dry tweets. A sampling of perhaps the least insightful sports analysis on the planet, and what my response would be:


Barry Davis Actual Tweet: "I see Josh Towers still can't pitch. Hits Randy Ruiz in the face with a pitch. The dude is just brutal"

All Your Base Response: "Going up and in on a guy in a 0-2 count is pretty much the definition of major league pitching. Ruiz simply didn't pick up the ball. But hey, piling on Towers is pretty much par for the course in Toronto's media."


Barry Davis Actual Tweet: "Scott Downs on to pitch the 8th. His first appearance since August 1st"

All Your Base Response: Contrary to popular belief, Downs does not write J.M.J. (Jesus Mary Joseph) in the dirt behind the mound before he pitches. He actually writes the initials of his two children. Know what I did just there? Provided information about Scott Downs that is actually somewhat interesting.


Barry Davis Actual Tweet: "Travis Snider belts his 6th Homerun off windows retaurant and it left in a hurry. His 3rd since being recalled last week "

All Your Base Response: "Instead of following Gameday, why don't we follow Barry Davis' sporadic tweets which give little information, and random updates of rather trivial points of Jays games?"


Barry Davis Actual Tweet: "Roenicke in trouble in the 5th . After 2 quick outs he gives up a walk and 2 singles . Now 7-2 Rays

All Your Base Response: "Is this fucking serious?"