At Least We're not Baltimore

Mike Flanagan and his group of merry men are coming to town.

Err.. once merry men. Miggy is no longer Jiggy like the mascot. He has morphed from the happy exciting sparkplug to a sluggish, disgruntled employee.

And he's representative of the team as a whole. Nobody seems to enjoy being an Oriole. And with very good reason. These are the days, When all that they can do is dream. And with Angelos still running things,fans have expressed the same running prognosis on the squad: There's no hope with [this] dope [in charge].

Things looking bleak here in Toronto? Just take a look at this squad coming in for the series. Outside of Eric Bedard and Nick Markakis, there's nothing.

But...

At least we know this fan will be on hand in Toronto, cheering on Eric Bedard, and inexplicably, Todd Williams. Todd Williams??

Barry the Blue Jay

I don't know why, but when Barry Bonds hit his record breaking home run this week, baseball bloggers throughout Canada reacted similarly to mainstream media throughout North America -- with disgust, and disdain that so much attention is being given toward, what they call "a cheater."

This just reaks of hypocrisy, because I am sure, 100% sure, guaranteed, that if Barry Bonds were to have played his last 10 seasons here in Toronto, he'd be the most popular and beloved athlete in this country. One reason is because Torontonians would all of a sudden embrace the fact that Bonds would absolutely crush a lot of the moronic beat writers of the city. Everyone would go hog wild as Bonds would chastise Marty York and Richard Griffin, but more importantly, everyone would be excited because Bonds would be helping the Jays win, and be putting on a spectacle every night, justifying the price for admission.

Let's also take a look at how Canadians have reacted to people who have actually FAILED drug tests:

Exhibit A: Silken Laumann

Silken tested positive for PREFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS. Sure it was something like Sudafed or something, but nevertheless it was a banned substance. Canadians still loved Silken... a CHEATER.

Exhibit B: Ross Rebagliati

Ross Rebagliati tested postive for weed. Which wasn't a banned substance, so he got to keep his medal. But weed is illegal, like steroids are illegal, which some say is reason enough why Bonds shouldn't have taken the juice even though it wasn't banned in baseball. But weed wasn't banned in the Winter Olympics, but is an illegal substance. And Canadians love Ross.

Let's not also forget that Jay fans had no problems cheering for teams a decade ago which had players such as Jose Canseco, Brad Fullmer, David Segui, Roger Clemens, Benito Santiago and Billy Koch on them. Just sayin'.

So everyone calm down. Bonds got the record. Enjoy him while you can. Watch him play. Envision him in a Jay uniform. Think what could have been.

Glaus is Going Nowhere Fast

It has become increasingly more self evident that the trade value of Troy Glaus is much lower than when he was acquired just two years ago.

Even though he has less years on his contract left, and had, by all means, two very succesful campaigns since his move to Toronto, and he's still in his early 30s, his flaws have become more exposed than ever before.

He is, as people would like to say, an old 31. Which is very different than saying someone is an old 21. Lebron James is an old 22, because he looks way older than, say, this guy. Lebron physically looks like a 30 year old. So being called an old 22 is a positive.

On the contrary, it's also positive to say someone is a young 35. Like Jared Leto, people say he's a young 35 because its suprising to hear that he's that old. Yes, his music might be borderline shit, but fuck he looks young. And he likes blackberries.

But an old 31 is not a positive. Troy Glaus looks more warn down than 46 year old Julio Franco.

His injuries are mounting, as he's now, more than ever, showing he can't significantly contribute over a 162 game schedule, his body just breaks down and he swoons after the allstar break. Which makes him a guy the Jays would love to discard.

Publicly, their mantra has been that they are happy with him aboard. Privately, one must think that they'd be overjoyed with an offer, of any sort.

The jump to this conclusion is simple to amass. There have been reports stating that the Jays are open to dealing Glaus. The reason they haven't? Ricciardi has said it himself: they haven't got any offers. Which seems logical.

What are the advantages of Glaus? One dimensional power numbers for half a year at the corner infield position? Not really advantageous, plus it comes at an expensive financial price.

Let's be frank here. Troy Glaus is staying in Toronto, but it's not by choice. There are simply no takers.

He Hit Coconuts Far

I'm really excited. And I'm not just excited because I saw Gary Beals rollerblading down my street today.

I'm excited because the Jays signed their 27th round draft pick today. Usually this doesn't illicit such fanfare, but the player has two major things going for him.

1) He's a Canuck, and he played right down the street this year for the Maple Leafs intercounty baseball team. That's tremendous! I don't care if he'll probably only make it to New Hampshire if he's lucky. He's signed sealed and ready to rock rookie ball now.

2) His name is Gilligan! How quirky! People in Lansing, get out your Skipper uniforms and pump this guy up. He's ready to roll. Sure, the low minors may be filling up with better talent, guys with boring names like Brett Cecil and Kevin Ahrens. But this guy, Kyle Gilligan, is surely the man to watch. Ahoy!!!

Josh Towers Dumb Decisions

So now everyone seems to be jumping on this Josh Towers bandwagon. After beefing up his machismo last week criticizing his team's effort, and then drilling ARod last night, all of a sudden, in this lost season for the Jays, people are now gravitating towards Towers.

Fans are frustrated and it now looks like Josh Towers is coming to bat for them. Fans love seeing Towers rip his team for their lack of effort, because the fans think the same thing. Fans love seeing Towers drill ARod cause the Jay fans would love to do the same thing. But is this new Josh Towers, a vessell for Jay Fan frustrations for real? Or is there an underlining motive for his all of a sudden brush into the limelight?

His new persona of a trash talking, no nonsense fighter seems strangely out of character. Its reminiscent of the strange turn of Zach Morris in a late episode of Saved By the Bell, when out of the blue Morris becomes a tough guy and goes toe to toe with Slater. Very cool, but not really following his M.O.

So what's up with Towers? Did his agent give him advice that the more press he gets the more offers will come in when his contract expires this offseason? Does having a new tough as nails, trash talking persona make him a more attractive acquisition. Perhaps, however, if this is his objective, he's made a few mistakes.

Yes, he's getting out of the stable of the Jays fans whipping boy, a place he's occupied since the exodus of Eric Hinske.

But here's his main two problems:

1) He's ostrasized himself in the clubhouse. If you're going to rip your team, you gotta be specific. Otherwise, you've left this vague blanket criticism over all your teammates. You've belittled John McDonald, you've dissed Roy Halladay. They don't like this trash talking when they by association become a part of Towers ire. It's especially bothersome as well that it comes from a guy who was 2-10 last year. It's akin to Joel Madden being critical of the music industry.

2) Hitting A-Rod was fine. Belittling an old first base coach ain't such a tough guy move. I don't care if Tony Pena was smack talking you, you don't go out and start running your mouth off to the press about him, that's just weak. It's like Hulk Hogan just bad mouthing Bobby Heenan in a prematch interview rather than attacking Andre the Giant. Fans are like, 'what the fuck, pussy, go after the Giant!!!'

Clearly, Josh knows the writing's on the wall. And it looks like his trying to appease all the Torontonians before he hits the road. The question now is whether or not the new JT is making other teams take notice of him in a positive way. Take it away, Aretha!

What is Going On?

I know, I know you have many questions. You feel like Joe Schmo wondering what is going on? It's a brave new world, and I don't want to waste what little time you have here with long winded explanations. However, one question I am sure which is swirling through your head is: What's with the title of this blog?

The Answer: While the reference is dated, it's meant to signify the convergence of the emerging Irreverent Internet Subculture with the game of baseball, particularly the Toronto Blue Jays.

Those unfamiliar with the former, here is an example of what I mean by the Irreverent Internet Subculture in which the blogs title is derived from. For a comprehensive analysis of the culture, read this primer. As for the latter, pretty self explanatory, the meat and potatoes is Blue Jays Baseball.

To best understand what this is all about though is just to keep reading. All Your Base is currently looking for more writers to join us on this blog. Anonymity is promised, aliases are used, and the only criteria is enjoying watching videos like this.